Christmas Day Stress -- Don't Put Unnecessary Stress On Yourself!

Put down that carving knife! Christmas day stress peaks at 12.56pm - and it's down to turkey-related tension

• Half of Brits say preparing turkey and trimmings is most demanding task
• Average adult spends 4 hours 30 minutes cooking Christmas dinner
• One in ten amateur cooks spend six hours or more slaving over stove
• We first think about meal on December 14 
• Then spend 14 hours worrying about it before preparations even start

By BIANCA LONDON

The children have opened their presents, the turkey is in the oven and the chatty relatives are gathered in the lounge but as the clock strikes 12.56pm on Christmas Day, our stress levels peak.

The most stressful time on Christmas Day has been revealed as 12.56pm - just before lunch is served.

Almost half of Brits (47 per cent) say preparing the turkey, vegetables, and all the trimmings is the most demanding task they face on December 25.

Stress o'clock: A new study has revealed that 12.56pm is the most stressful time on Christmas Day - just before dinner is served

This is because of the difficulty of timing everything right (33 per cent), and coping with interfering relatives (16 per cent).

Others are stressed by the effort required to chop, peel, baste, and mix (15 per cent), and struggling to squeeze everything in the oven (32 per cent).

The pressure is heaped on by the amount of time put into making sure everything is perfect, found the new study.

The average adult spends four hours 30 minutes preparing and cooking Christmas dinner. This is only slightly less than the four hours 36 minutes spent chatting, playing games, and watching television with family.

Multitasking: Almost half of Brits say preparing the turkey, vegetables, and all the trimmings is the most demanding task they face on December 25

And it is significantly more than the 38 minutes dedicated to unwrapping presents, and one hour 39 minutes sat at the dinner table.

An eager one in ten amateur cooks spend six hours or more slaving over the stove, the poll of 2,000 people revealed.

Furthermore, we first think about the meal on December 14 and then spend 14 hours worrying about it before preparations even start.

The biggest annoyance with poorly made mains is cold food (27 per cent), watery gravy (26 per cent), and raw turkey (20 per cent). Tough meat also fails to impress.

Men typically cook their first Christmas dinner at a later age than women, starting at 27 rather than 25.

Was it worth it? An eager one in ten amateur cooks spend six hours or more slaving over the stove, the poll of 2,000 people revealed

They also admit they struggle to multitask, with 28 per cent saying it is what makes cooking stressful.

One in seven people aged 55 and over, and 38 per cent of all men have never cooked a Christmas dinner - and only 35 per cent of men have made a Christmas cake.

A spokesman from Magimix, who commissioned the survey, said: 'Christmas cooking is becoming a real source of stress for the nation, with 12.56pm the time we're tipping over the edge.

'It's understandable that people want the most important meal of the year to be perfect but many of us are putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves to impress family and friends.'
 

Gratitude to Enhance Well-Being

A Year-Round Gratitude Practice Through Mindfulness by Stephanie Cordel

Mindfulness First has been implementing a school-wide mindfulness program at David Crockett Elementary School in Phoenix, Arizona since August of this year. Our goal is to make it the first entirely mindful school in Arizona. Our instructors regularly visit each classroom and practice mindfulness with the students as well as teach them various concepts that relate to it.

Mindfulness is the practice of actively paying attention to what is happening in the present moment without attaching judgment. A structured way of cultivating this awareness is by taking time each day to sit and focus on your breathing. This seemingly simple act of bringing attention to your breathing helps you to recognize all of the thoughts, feelings, and sensations that serve as distractions from the present experience. It is during this time that we learn how to practice bringing attention back to our original focus by developing better awareness and concentration. We practice this routine with students of all ages to aid in their own cultivation of mindfulness.

Gratitude is one of the important concepts that we incorporate into our curriculum and teach to all of our students as well.You may be wondering how gratitude fits into a mindfulness curriculum. Well, because Mindfulness First seeks to provide mindfulness as a social and emotional learning tool, we pair mindfulness with other concepts that are shown to support positive social and emotional development among children of all ages. In fact, there are numerous scientifically-proven physical, psychological, and emotional benefits to consciously practicing gratitude on a regular basis.

Several studies have researched the impact of gratitude across different domains. One study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that men and women who wrote letters of gratitude consistently over the course of 3 weeks showed an increase in happiness and life satisfaction along with a decrease in depressive symptoms. Another study in the Journal of Counseling Psychology highlighted that gratitude helps to strengthen and maintain relationships. In the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researchers report that practicing gratitude positively impacts a person's well-being and people who practice gratitude are even more likely to exercise regularly.

Another reason we link mindfulness with gratitude is that regularly practicing gratitude is not easy. It's not conventionally emphasized and we often forget to consider the aspects of our lives that give us joy, fulfillment, and meaning. This is especially true when we experience tough times. It can be difficult to consciously practice gratitude when we deal with challenging situations. However, it is during those difficult moments that gratitude can help us the most. That's where mindfulness comes in.
When we are experiencing a difficult moment we can easily lose ourselves and our perspective with the intense emotions and consuming thoughts associated with a painful or challenging experience. This entanglement can give a sense of overwhelm and inability to act. If we can take a moment and focus on our breathing when we are caught up with our thoughts and feelings, we can create a pause during this automatic whirlwind. During this pause, if we gently bring awareness to our internal experience of thoughts and feelings, we can become an observer of what is happening instead of a passive participant. This is done by simply recognizing what is actually happening in the moment instead of ruminating, speculating, or judging.
Once we have created enough of a separation to not become consumed by our internal experience, we can then make a choice to shift our thinking by bringing awareness to a different aspect of life such as the things we are grateful for. This active choice of practicing gratitude is how mindfulness can assist in changing the direction of our thoughts and feelings. It is important to keep in mind that this ability to pause during an overwhelming moment takes time to develop. It requires a consistent mindfulness practice to cultivate a habit of purposeful awareness.

At Mindfulness First we recognize the numerous benefits that have been scientifically studied along with the important link between mindfulness and choosing to practice gratitude. Thus we teach gratitude as a tool for students to utilize and a way to personally benefit from when experiencing, particularly when experiencing difficult moments.

During this holiday season don't limit your recognition of the positive things in your life to just this time of the year. Remember that any moment of any day throughout the year provides an opportunity to practice gratitude, which can benefit you all 365 days.

Are You Frustrated With Your Life?

7 Reasons You're So Frustrated With Your Life by Christine Horner

What are the driving forces behind dissatisfaction? What is the common thread of personal well-being, or even ever-elusive personal fulfillment? How can you successfully navigate life when things take an unexpected turn?

The difference between achieving personal fulfillment or heart-breaking disillusionment ultimately begins with you and where you are placing your focus, regardless of circumstances.

Here are 7 reasons why you might be frustrated with your life.

1) You feel you have failed at something.

Feeling cynical or defeated, or that your hard work is not paying off? Life continuously places road signs in front of you every day, guiding you along your journey. Are you listening and watching, or are you insisting the world conform to your demands on your schedule?

When there is disappointment in life, seeing everything as an opportunity will keep you invigorated and challenged in a good way. The ability to adapt and learn are vital to living the good life. If you don't evolve, you die. And then you die anyway. Consider changing course or starting something new. Age is not important. Follow your bliss.

2) You play the comparison game.

Making a living becomes complicated when you wish to live like someone else. Materialism and title are fake substitutes for real affluence--the ability to inspire people.

What do you really value? Time, family, freedom, creativity, helping others, or maybe you just want to live a simple life. Make a list and then begin to devise an action plan. Our limited definitions of success are expanding to include less is more.

3) You've mortgaged your life.

You've paid with your freedom for the illusion of security. Economy provides us with sustenance of life, but when it becomes the goal, you work like a machine, losing your passion for living.

The American Dream is also changing. Too many of us watched our parents become enslaved by possessions they worked so hard for only to lose them or die too early to enjoy them. New markets are opening up that allow us greater life choice flexibility through stewardship rather than ownership.

4) You self-medicate to fill the void.

Innovation and automation has provided us with more free time than we've ever had. Instead of filling it with creativity, we self-medicate our off-hours with TV, smart phones, information, and shopping, looking for a quick high to fill the emptiness in our lives.

Do you remember when you were 5-years-old, happy and carefree? Every day was an adventure. Regain your sense of wonder by looking at every day as a fresh beginning filled with possibility. Rediscover your inner child.

5) You are daunted by all the strife in the world.

Living the good life is being peaceful even when those around you are stirring the pot. When others engage in negativity, don't get sucked in. Consider ending support of violent media content.

Become response-able for you and your corner of the world. Share uplifting news and things you love on social media. Seek common ground with those you come into contact with to build upon, supporting change as needed.

6) You've allowed technology to supplant human contact and nature.

Do you ever walk your neighborhood and ask where all the people are? When was the last time you roamed a nature trail? Technology is nice, but it's not nicer than a sense of community and all the wisdom and health benefits hidden in nature's vastness. If you've forgotten this, stop what you're doing right now. Come back in 30 minutes and report your findings.

7) Too much "me" time.

Self-love and self-care are certainly important, but keeping a healthy balance between ego and selflessness is the striking point of cultivating personal fulfillment. In a synergetic world, personal fulfillment and social responsibility are intimately connected.

Try volunteering just two hours a month to discover what you would grumble about at minimum wage. Being in service to others takes you out of your head and your difficulties. It is a gift--the most exciting, rewarding, and fulfilling gift you could ever give--the gift of you!

***

Finding harmony between economic, social, and environmental objectives (or mind, body, and spirit) is key to personal and community well-being and happiness. The most important thing in life is the joy in being alive.

If you think there is something more important than this, you are bound to experience frustration. Your life becomes beautiful as soon as you put your heart in it. Your passion for life can never be taken away from you--unless you take away your focus.

Don't worry, nobody's perfect. We all have our rough patches. Focus is the key to mastery in life. Which do you wish to master? Gratitude for being alive or being alive and feeling like you're dead?

I still own nothing but this laptop--by personal choice. Truthfully, I didn't lose everything. I've got my beautiful daughter (and son). Everything else is just accessories. Once you let go of what is illusory, you embrace life's mystery and really begin to live!

Stay Positive around Negative People

By CARINA WOLFF

 LIFESTYLE

There are always going to be situations in your life when it will be hard to keep a positive outlook. This becomes especially more difficult when the people around you take on a bad attitude, but luckily there are ways to stay positive around negative people. Having an optimistic attitude can require some effort, but it can end up having benefits in the long run, both on your mental and physical health.

Studies have found that optimists get sick less frequently, live longer lives, and are less depressed overall than people who constantly think negative thoughts. Although not everyone is born an optimist, you can train your mind to think more positively, which can help you keep your mood up while everyone else's is down.

"Be honest with yourself about where you are at the start of a day," says Positive Psychology Expert Pax Tandon to Bustle over email. "If you're in a 'less than' state of being, which is natural and comes with the territory of being human, acknowledge that and choose your company carefully."

Although steering clear of negativity sounds ideal, there are many times when we can't completely avoid others who are feeling down. In those times, try the following six tips to help you stay upbeat even when you're around other negativity.

1. Rock A Positivity Ratio

"UNC researcher Barbara Fredrickson proposes that we need a ratio of 3:1 positive to negative thoughts to achieve flourishing," says Tandon. "When hanging out with über negative folks, counteract each negative thought they express with three positive ones of your own." If you don't feel comfortable saying them out loud, you can always just think them in your head, which can help keep your stream of thoughts positive.

2. Practice Gratitude

Sometimes people we care about go through hard times, we need to be there to lend them an ear. "Inevitably, this can mean taking in a lot of negativity," says Tandon. "The antidote to this is to practice gratitude. " Immediately after the conversation, come up with a list of things you are grateful for. "The practice of highlighting things in your life that you are grateful for is one of the most effective positive psychology interventions that we have," she says. "It primes your brain to see more of the good stuff, and less of the bad."

3. Don't Take It Personally

Usually someone's negativity has nothing to do with you, and internalizing their thoughts and feelings won't change the situation. Instead, try to understand their mind-set, and take everything with a grain of salt. "Forgive others for being in this space and recognize it's how we're programmed," says Tandon. Practicing compassion and shifting your focus off yourself can help these negative comments roll off your back.

4. Focus On Improvement

"The experiences that teach and shape us the most are often the most traumatic," says Tandon. "Whether you falter or flourish after these is up to you. Choose resilience, and appreciate every way in which you can improve after a negative event — because that's what it's there for, to help you evolve." Looking for solutions to the problem can help you focus on positive outcomes, and it can also help build your character.

5. Just Breathe

So much negative energy can be stressful, so it's best to ease this stress by practicing deep breathing. Studies show that practicing controlled breathing can have an immediate and positive effect. Calming your mind and body down will have you more able to think clearly, which can help dismiss any negative thoughts.

6. Forgive & Forget The Bad Days

Not every day is going to a bubbly, positive day, so when those days do occur, we have to let them go. "Recognize that having 'bad days' and negative thoughts is part of the human experience," says Tandon. Forgive any negative thoughts you may have been experiencing, and use this freedom as an opportunity to focus on making the most out of the present.

Being an optimist is not something that comes naturally to many people — and that's OK. Take a deep breath, find what it is you're thankful for, and know that it is possible to feel and be positive, no matter how impossible it seems at the time.

CARINA WOLFF

 @wolffcar