Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts

Monday, January 4, 2016

Hormone Imbalance?

7 Signs You Have A Hormone Imbalance

Feeling off lately? It might be that the change you’re noticing is due to a hormone imbalance. No matter how much you may remember from your biology class, now that you’re focusing on your health and well-being, it may be time to re-learn about what your hormones are actually doing for you.
Whether you’re male or female, estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, cortisol, insulin, serotonin, thyroid and other hormones that you’ve never heard of are coursing through your body right now. When all of these work together as they should, our bodies function well.
Although women are more often accused of “being hormonal,” men also experience hormone changes that can affect their physical appearance and behavior. Women go through menopause, men go through andropause, and all of us are going through hormonal changes as we age.
When your hormones are imbalanced, your health and well-being can suffer as a result. Here are 7 signs of a hormone imbalance to talk with your medical provider about.

7 SIGNS OF A HORMONE IMBALANCE

1. TROUBLE SLEEPING

If you’ve noticed that your sleep patterns have changed, especially if you sleep less than before, you may be experiencing a hormone imbalance. For women this could mean low progesterone and for men this could mean lower testosterone. Women may experience less sleep when they feel uncomfortable from hot flashes or night sweats that are associated with menopause.
Getting less sleep than usual as a result of hormonal changes is more common over the age of fifty. Women can use a progesterone cream and men can use nutritional supplements to increase these hormone levels.

2. LIBIDO CHANGES

A reduction in your desire for sexual intimacy usually means a decrease in hormone levels for both men and women. For men, this is due to lower testosterone; for women, lower estrogen levels than normal. Women who are experiencing menopause also may see a decrease in their desire to have sex due to vaginal dryness or pain during intercourse as a 
result of lower estrogen.
The good news for women is that orgasm was shown to increase estrogen levels according to a study by the University of Michigan. Women can also make dietary changes to increase estrogen or get a prescription from their doctors. Men can increase the amount of muscle building exercise to improve their testosterone levels.
Women also experience breast changes or pain as well as period changes or pain. These uncomfortable symptoms are also associated with hormone changes. Feeling pain associated with these hormonal changes can certainly have an impact on your sex life.

3. MEMORY PROBLEMS

Having trouble remembering where you left your car keys? Lower estrogen might be to blame. Foggy thinking can also be caused by low cortisol levels. Chronic stress can leave the adrenal glands unable to continue to produce cortisol. Stress produces cortisol, which in small doses is healthy for you but chronically high cortisol can deplete your adrenal glands later in life.

4. DIGESTIVE PROBLEMS

Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) can be due to lower levels of serotonin. Women sometimes see IBS symptoms increase close to their periods as a result of changes in estrogen and progesterone.
Gastrointestinal discomfort can also come from low cortisol levels. Cortisol is naturally high in the morning to help you wake up but again, depleted adrenal glands can leave your cortisol lower than usual.

5. APPETITE CHANGES

Changes in your sleep habits may have an unpleasant result with regard to your weight. If you are getting less sleep than usual, your levels of the hormone ghrelin are higher than normal. Ghrelin makes you hungrier than usual while leptin and oxyntomodulin, suppress your hunger.
In one study of volunteers who were sleep deprived, their ghrelin hormone levels were extremely high so they felt hungry. Being chronically tired may result in your tendency to gain weight just as a result of your increased hunger sensation.

6. MOOD SWINGS

If you’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster lately, it could be the result of hormonal changes leading up to menopause. Excess estrogen can be a cause of mood swings, whereas anxiety can be due to lower progesterone and depression could be due to lower estrogen levels.

7. WEIGHT CHANGES

Lower progesterone levels and an excess of estrogen can lead to an unexplained weight gain in women while men can see weight gain as a result of excess estrogen. Weight loss for men can be a result of testosterone deficiency.
Balancing hormones may require diet and lifestyle changes or it may require the intervention of a medical professional. Some herbs have been known to help enhance hormone production as well. In Chinese traditional medicine, for example, horny goat weed or yin yang huo extract have been used to increase libido in both men and women.
You can have a saliva test done to check your hormone levels. Your physician can determine your hormone levels and consult with you about how to make adjustments to restore your hormonal balance.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Lower Your Expectations to Stay Happy Over the Holidays!

How to survive Christmas with your mental health INTACT: 'Forgive and lower your expectations to stay happy over the holidays'

Christmas is supposed to be a joyful time of family, love and presents
  • Yet 38% of people say the holidays increase their stress levels, while another 26% feel sad or lonely over the festive period
  • 10 - 20% of people feel depressed due to seasonal affective disorder (SAD)
  • The key to surviving the holidays is to lower expectations, experts said
  • It's also helpful to practice forgiveness and move at a slower pace 

By LISA RYAN 


It's the most wonderful time of the year, a time for family, treats, presents and celebrations.
But for many, the anticipation of festive fun gives way to stress and anxiety as Christmas looms on the horizon.
The stress of invading relatives, financial woes, preparing the Christmas feast, can mount, while others face an altogether different stress - the prospect of spending the holiday season alone.
Data from the American Psychological Association showed that 38 per cent of people say the holidays increase their stress levels.
Another 26 per cent of people feel sad or lonely during the holidays.
But a new study has revealed the key to surviving Christmas, without letting stress give way to more serious mental health problems, is to lower your expectations, practise forgiveness and operate at a slower pace. 
The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy and fun, but instead end up causing stress and anxiety. Data from the American Psychological Association showed that 38 per cent of people say the holidays increase their stress levels, while another 26 per cent feel sad or lonely during the most wonderful time of the year
The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy and fun, but instead end up causing stress and anxiety. Data from the American 
Psychological Association showed that 38 per cent of people say the holidays increase their stress levels, while another 26 per cent feel sad or lonely during the most wonderful time of the year

Janet Abraham, a clinical social worker at Virginia Commonwealth University Women’s Health, said: ‘Generally, people have unrealistic expectations and they feel pressured to produce the perfect holiday.
‘Fatigue can be an issue because you’re going 24 hours trying to get done the last things on your “to do” list.

‘Or, some people equate abundance with having a good holiday, which brings on financial concerns of worries.’
As a result people tend to be over-committed and try to meet unrealistic expectations that others have set during the holidays.
Ms Abraham said: ‘Find pleasure in the small things and stop evaluating.’
She warned depression can rear its ugly head during the holidays.
 Generally, people have unrealistic expectations and they feel pressured to produce the perfect holiday.
Janet Abraham, clinical social worker at Virginia Commonwealth University Women’s Health
An estimated 10 to 20 per cent of people suffer from seasonal affective disorder (SAD) – which hampers mood and causes depression, due to a lack of sunshine during the winter months.
Furthermore, a lack of family or the loss of a loved one – or being around combative or emotionally challenging family members – can also trigger depression.
That’s why it’s important to be mindful of the people you spend your time with – and be purposeful about what you enjoy.
Ms Abraham said: ‘Spend time with your family of choice.’
It’s also a good idea to spend time volunteering for those in need, since generosity is a natural way to feel good about ourselves.
Practicing forgiveness, gratitude, generosity and love is therefore a great way to combat the holiday blues, according to Dr Everett Worthington, professor of psychology at VCU.
Dr Worthington said: ‘The key to all of these is to cultivate a humble, other-oriented heart.’
Additionally, recent tragedies and terrorist attacks may also bring on feelings of stress during the holidays, experts warned.
The terrorist attacks in Paris and San Bernardino, California can not only bring on feelings of sadness, but also anxiety because of the fear associated with travel.
The key to coping with holiday stress is to lower your expectations, practice forgiveness and move at a slower pace, say experts from Virginia Commonwealth University
The key to coping with holiday stress is to lower your expectations, practice forgiveness and move at a slower pace, say experts from Virginia Commonwealth University

Children, in particular, are vulnerable to feelings of loss and tragedy during the holiday season, said Dr Bela Sood, psychiatry and pediatrics professor at VCU.
Adults should take time to work through their feelings – including those of loss or depression – before addressing issues with children, Dr Sood suggested.
If a child has lost a parent or close family member, their guardians should make an effort to make the holidays especially warm for them.  
Dr Sood said: ‘Guardians should create an environment where validation and expression of feelings are allowed.
‘It can be very cathartic to remember family who may not be here physically.
‘Every family has their own way of dealing, but the environment should be such that it allows for that expression.’ 
If you’d like to help someone who is struggling with mental health during the holidays, you can offer your time, invite the person to get out of the house and send a holiday card or note. 
By and large, preparing for the ‘bumps in the road’ and making these decisions to support your mental health are the best ways to minimize holiday drama.
Ms Abraham said: ‘Stop expecting perfection and the fantasy that everything is going to be perfect so you’re not crushed if outcomes aren’t how you planned them.’ 

Monday, November 30, 2015

5 Steps to a Healthy Mind

5 Key Steps to a Healthy Mind
BY RENAE MAC



Below are five key steps that have shown to help change your thoughts patterns, increase the health of your mind as well as create a more balanced and positive outlook on life.
1. Create the Intention
Changing negative habits and creating new positive habits is a fairly simple process but not an easy process and takes a commitment. It is important that you make the decision and be clear about your intention in order to create change.
Think it and write it down as well as say it out loud. In this way you are making a commitment to yourself to do what it takes to accomplish your goal and create a healthier mind state.
2. Be Conscious of Your Thoughts
As mentioned before thoughts are habitual and it can be quite difficult at first to consciously be aware of every thought that passes through your head. Before you change them for the better you must be aware of exactly what you are thinking.
Make it a priority to take notice of what thoughts pass through your head as you go about your day. Take note of what thoughts come up as you are dealing with different people and situations. Be careful not to judge your thoughts, for now simply be aware of them.
3. Make the Switch
Now that you are aware of your thinking patterns you can then begin to change them. We all have the capability to choose what we think and you have the power to change a negative thought into a positive.
When you notice a negative or non-affirming thought in your head consciously decide to change it. Do not worry if at first you do not believe your new positive thought as overtime that will change. By switching your negative thought to a positive each and every time you will eventually create new thought patterns and habits. You will also be creating a positive energy within yourself as opposed to a negative.
This method is simple yet not easy, but it works very well. It is a matter of sticking with it one hundred percent of the time. After a period of time your negative thought patterns will no longer have the power to affect or limit any aspect of your life including your emotions. Your new positive thought patterns will send out a different energy and create a more positive way of being which will in turn attract new positive energy within your life.
Over time with practice you will notice that when a negative thought pops up you will habitually switch it immediately to a positive. Then before you know it the negativity will be gone and it will be replaced with a positive and self-affirming way of being.
4. Positive Brain Frequencies
Once you have begun to practice the first three steps you can also begin to work directly with your brain frequencies. The brain is constantly emitting very specific frequency waves that influence how you feel and act. You can work with your brainwaves through meditation or by using an external stimulus such as brainwave audios.
By meditating or using brainwave audios such as binaural beats you are able to bypass the conscious mind and work directly with the subconscious mind. In this way you can make huge progress by tuning the brain to a specific frequency that helps with stress, anxiety and overall well being. If you combine these methods with affirmations you may notice your thought patterns and energy changing for the positive at a far quicker rate.
5. Take Time to Enjoy
Practicing positive thinking does not mean that you will never again have a negative thought. However it does mean that you will have the conscious awareness to change the negative to a positive and allow that positive energy to shape your life as opposed to being influenced by the negative.
Once you have made these changes and adopted this new healthier mind state it is up to you to get out there and enjoy life. Take little steps to do more of what you enjoy and be proud of the fact that you have given your mind the attention it needs in order to create the healthy life you deserve to enjoy.

A Healthy Mind in a Healthy Body

7 Habits for a Healthy Mind in a Healthy Body

The secrets to well-being can be found in our evolutionary biology.
by Christopher Bergland

To find clues for healthy living today, we must look to our past. The history of human evolution shows a definitive link between our physical health and psychological well-being. The Greeks understood the importance of a Sound Mind in a Sound Body. That credo became the foundation of their civilization. For clues on how we can best survive the 21st century we should look to the wisdom held in our ancestry and evolutionary biology.

In this entry I will explore ways in which modern living is causing our bodies and minds to short-circuit. I will recap the major periods of human evolution and offer a simple prescriptive that can insulate you from the ‘future shock’ that rapid advances in technology have created in our bodies, minds, and society. “Future shock” is a term for a certain psychological state of individuals and entire societies, introduced by Alvin Toffler in his book of the same name. Toffler's most basic definition of future shock is: “ too much change in too short a period of time.”  Do you feel future shocked? What ways are you coping with it?

The 7 Habits for a Healthy Mind in a Healthy body are simple daily lifestyle choices. These 7 principles are the foundation of The Athlete’s Way (link is external) philosophy:

7 HABITS FOR A HEALTHY MIND IN A HEALTHY BODY

Daily Physicality: Exercise for at least 20 minutes most days of the week.

Intellectual Curiosity: Spend some time in focused thought, exploring new ideas every day.

Foster Creativity: Challenge your mind to connect unrelated ideas in new and useful ways.

Human Unity: Create and maintain close-knit human bonds and a social support network.

Spiritual Connectedness: Identify a Source of inspiration that is bigger than you.

Energy Balance: Balance Calories in/Calories out, and reduce your carbon footprint.

Voluntary Simplicity: Embrace the liberty that comes with wanting and needing less.


Technology vs. Evolutionary Biology

A visual image that I find useful for putting human evolution in perspective is to picture that if the entire length of your arm represented human evolution, the past 200 years would be represented by the white tip of a freshly clipped finger nail. We often forget the lightning speed with which recent modern inventions have reshaped our lives after hundreds of millions of years of very gradual change.

Here is a quick timeline of major inventions that have changed our lives since the 1800s: The steam engine and locomotive were invented in 1804, the telephone in 1876, the first electrical power plant in 1882, the production-line automobile in 1902, the television in 1927, the jet airplane 1943, the ATM in 1967, the cell phone in 1973, the internet in 1983. Isn’t it amazing to realize how recently these changes have occurred considering the first primate fossils date back some 20 million years?

The first seeds of the information age began in 1888 when an American inventor, Herman Hollerith, developed a successful computer, using punched cards and electricity. In 1911 he sold his company, the Tabulating Machine Company, which then became the Computing-Tabulating-Recording Company. In 1924 this company became IBM. Analog computers were developed in 1930 and the first electronic computer was in use by 1946.

The digital revolution was officially born late in 1947 when two Bell Labs scientists demonstrated a transistor that could take electric current, amplify it, and switch it on and off. By the late 1960s, large companies used computers. Personal computers were introduced in 1975. The internet and social media have changed the way we live, work and communicate in ways that would have seemed unimaginable just a decade ago. We are all scrambling to keep our bearings in this digital whirlwind.

Like many people, I believe that we have to be proactive in order to combat the potential of digital technology to zap our minds and bodies of their vitality. Obviously, digital advances have improved our lives in so many ways, but there are so many uncertains. For example: As a parent, I wonder if iPads as a learning tool help raise a generation that is being spoon fed too much over-processed everything or do they enhance learning and creativity? I think it’s a dual-edged sword.

Technology has the ability to greatly enhance our lives, but it also has the power to cause our bodies and brains to atrophy. What are the consequences to our biology of living in a virtual reality, where we don’t have to work physically to stay alive? Will our children be able to adapt to these changes better than we did or will it only get worse? The advice herein is a prophylaxis to help insulate your biology so you can continue to climb ever-higher and maximize the potential of your body and mind.


Humans are Built to Run

As hunter-gatherers, the human body evolved to run great distances hunting prey and gathering food. The ability to spring through the air using our gluteus maximus muscles is what sets us apart from primate cousins. This pogo-stick ability of each leg allowed us to travel long distances and to hunt and gather a high protein diet, using relatively little fuel. We are very fuel-efficient machines. As our brains grew, so did our prefrontal cortex, the seat of human intelligence, and we became better hunters. It also kept our cerebellum bulked up, which gave us the benefit of a strong ‘up brain’ and a strong ‘down brain.’ I wrote a Pyschology Today blog about this split-brain model that you can check out here.

Endurance running is unique to homo sapiens among all other mammals except for dogs, horses and hyenas. Drs. Lieberman and Bramble, paleontologists at Harvard, established that our slender legs, shorter arms, narrower rib cage and pelvis, skulls with overheating prevention features, and the nuchal joint, which keeps our heads steady when we run, set us apart from chimpanzees.

The scientists concluded that running improved our chances of survival and reproduction. Although we were not as swift as our four-legged competitors, we could (and still can) out run and hunt over greater distances than other predators. Lieberman says, “Endurance running may have made possible a diet rich in fats and proteins thought to account for the unique human combination of large bodies, small guts, big brains, and small teeth.” It also imbedded the need to stay active into our biology.


Unity, Creativity, and Adventure are in Our DNA

One reason the Neanderthals may have became extinct is that they stayed in certain caves in France and parts of Spain for endless generations, relying on the same simple chiseled tools. Homo sapiens, on the other hand, were inclined to keep pushing into new areas, and inventing new technology. This is believed to be one reason that human lineage did not become extinct.

The first jewelry that archeologists have discovered dates back as far as 75,000 years ago. It is believed that homo sapiens in Africa began making beads, and piercing holes in the teeth of deceased loved ones to wear as adornment around this time. These findings illustrate that creativity and a deep need for human connection are embedded in our DNA. As the hunter-gatherers traveled the land in small bands, they also made sharp spears and other tools. Creative thinking and innovation have been linked to human survival for millennia.

Early agriculturists faced many challenges that hunting-gatherers didn't have to deal with. Farming meant the agriculturists needed to figure out how to exploit a relatively small amount of land very intensely, rather than taking advantage of a large amount of land as hunter-gatherers did. Early agricultural life, didn't require us to run, but it did require superior intelligence, physical stamina, and close-knit human bonds. Humans were able to do this and continued to evolve.

Agrarian society created a new lifestyle and social network. Pre-industrial farming required intense physical labor. The harvest cycle required a sustained physical effort a few times of the year based on seasonal weather patterns. Just as hunter-gatherers traveled in bands together, agrarian farming built tight communities. The necessities of agrarian life molded human behavior and society in ways that were uprooted by industrialization and commercialized farming.

Early farmers had to store food and to refrain from consuming whatever was available at the moment. If an agricultural community behaved like hunter-gatherers by grazing as they gathered food, they would starve to death in the winter. As agrarians we had to practice delaying gratification and not feast when there was abundance. Given the abundance of calorie-dense, nutritionally low food constantly at our disposal today—and the innate hunter-gatherer wiring embedded in our biology—it is understandable why so many people binge and have trouble delaying gratification.

Industrialization + Energy Gluttony = Global Warming

The first Industrial revolution occurred in Great Britain between 1750 and 1830. The use of automated machinery and the arrival of mass production created a new consumer society in the late 18th Century. Industrialization was a shock to the human system. Developments in Europe moved the population from a largely rural population, that made its livelihood from agriculture, to a town-centered society increasingly engaged in factory manufacturing. Later in the 19th century, similar revolutionary transformations began occurring in the United States.

Homo sapiens evolved to be very fuel-efficient machines. This is one reason it’s so easy for us to gain weight when we don’t have to do physical work to hunt or harvest our food.  With industrialization, physical expenditure dropped drastically. A typical hunter-gatherer required only 2,000 to 5,000 kilocalories of energy a day obtained through direct caloric consumption. Early agricultural societies required the equivalent of 20,000 kilocalories per person daily to maintain a farm. Early industrial societies required 60,000 kilocalories worth of energy, and modern post-industrial information societies require the equivalent of 120,000 kilocalories. The impact of this energy consumption on our environment are well known and one reason voluntary simplicity will benefit us all in the long run.


Socio-Economic Stratification

With industrialization, people moved into cities and began to work in factories. The human relationship to physicality and to nature changed. Much of the Romantic movements of the 19th century were a reaction to industrialism, by a class of people who could afford to appreciate nature and translate it into art. The Romantics wanted to reconnect with nature for creative and spiritual reasons. They realized that in gaining a command over nature, humans had lost something visceral and mystical that occurred through a connection to nature. How is the disconnect from nature and our own biology impacting our spiritual connectedness today?

I decided to embrace voluntary simplicity and live closer to nature a few years ago. Getting out of the city and de-cluttering my life was the most liberating thing I’ve ever done. Today I can fit all of my material possesions in the back of a small station wagon, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I keep the overhead very low and am able to live by the 7 principles here on a spartan budget. You can, too! One great thing about the digital age is that it allows you to work from anywhere. I have chosen to live closer to nature with visits to the city. I find that it is the perfect balance for optimal creativity and well-being. I feel very lucky to have the best of both worlds.

The socio-economic stratification of those who make a living doing creative jobs and who also exercise regularly is a point of interest to me. When I look at the record number of high-achievers entering local road running races, marathons, triathlons...and compare those statistics to the nationwide averages of obesity, I ask myself the chicken-or-the-egg question of which came first: their creative success or their dedication to regular physical activity? I fear that exercise, obesity, and creativity will become more and more of a class-divider in years to come. I am working to combat this through everything I do with The Athlete’s Way platform and corporate partnerships geared at funneling resources towards wellness initiatives aimed at underserved American youth.


Conclusion: Sweat is the Most Effective Elixir for Future Shock

I strongly believe that the 7 Habits for a Healthy Mind in a Healthy Body presented here are an antidote for future shock. Adopting these habits into your daily routine will keep you healthy, happy, and young at heart. Daily physical activity is ultimately the single most important elixir for staving off the negative impacts of modern life. Just 20 minutes most days of physical activity makes a huge difference in your state of well-being.

As Hippocrates said, “Walking is the best medicine.” A short, brisk daily walk could make all the difference in your long-term mental and physical health. If you want to be a resilient thought leader or innovator, you need to flex muscles in your mind and your body. Physical activity clears the cobwebs from your mind and makes you more creative. Almost every successful person I know who has an enduring career and remains prolific with fresh ideas has made the connection that regular physical activity is a requisite for his or her mental, physical, and professional longevity.

You don’t have to become an exercise fanatic, but nobody can sweat for you. If you want to stay competitive in a modern world you have to make physical activity a part of your daily routine. A generation ago before the digital revolution, in accepting his 1950 Nobel Prize in Literature Bertrand Russell—who was a zealot for the power of physical activity—addressed the pitfalls of modern living and offered some advice. I close with a quote from his speech titled: What Desires are Politically Important?

Our mental make-up is suited to a life of very severe physical labor. I used, when I was younger, to take my holidays walking. I would cover twenty-five miles a day, and when the evening came I had no need of anything to keep me from boredom, since the delight of sitting amply sufficed. But modern life cannot be conducted on these physically strenuous principles. A great deal of work is sedentary, and most manual work exercises on a few specialized muscles. Civilized life has grown altogether too tame, and, if it is to be stable, it must provide the harmless outlets for the impulses which our remote ancestors satisfied by hunting… More seriously, pains should be taken to provide constructive outlets for the love of excitement. Nothing is more exciting than a moment of sudden discovery or invention, and many more people are capable of experiencing such moments than is sometimes thought.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Problem Eating and How to Tackle It

The kindness cure - a new way to tackle problem eating

by Paula Goodyer


Fat shaming misses the point – and the problem.
Fat shaming misses the point – and the problem.
We all know by now (or at least we should) that fat shaming is more likely to make a weight problem worse, not better. Yet for some people who find it hard to control their eating, the voice of condemnation doesn't just come from the outside; it's also inside their head.

But a new approach that can help people silence their inner critic is giving some problem eaters more control over their eating. Called compassion-focused therapy or CFT, it teaches people to be kinder to themselves and is well-suited to problems with body image and eating, says Perth-based psychologist Melanie Greenfeld, many of whose clients are overeaters.

"Overeaters are very hard on themselves, especially binge eaters, so I try to help them develop a more compassionate relationship with themselves instead. It starts with getting them to listen to how they talk to themselves. They often say they're fat, lazy or hopeless because they've eaten too much or been unable to stick to a diet, yet that's not how they'd talk to other people. The second step is to practise changing the language from judgmental to comforting:  'OK, you ate a brownie – it's not the end of the world'," she says.

While sceptics might think this gives the green light to eating more, Greenfeld says it has the opposite effect.
"Studies have found that, with practice, it acts like a circuit breaker because it stops the feelings of shame and guilt that make someone feel so bad that they turn to food to make themselves feel better. It's a way of self-soothing that doesn't involve eating," she says.  

"It's not about encouraging people to keep overeating; it's taking a different approach. I work with people who are obese and they're often faced with health professionals who wave a finger at them and tell them to stop eating so much – but this doesn't tackle the problem. There's a reason why people overeat and it's often emotional. Self-compassion doesn't involve judgment; it's about trying to identify what we're feeling and why and asking ourselves how we can respond to our distress with kindness and understanding."

CFT also gets people to recognise that we're all part of a common humanity, sharing the same experiences of stress, failure and disappointment, "Greenfeld adds.  "Overeaters often feel very isolated, and normalising these experiences helps them realise they're not alone."  

In Australia, CFT is in its infancy. But in the US and in Britain – where it was first developed by Paul Gilbert, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Derby who works in mental health  within Britain's National Health Service – it's more widely used, Canberra-based psychologist Marie Bloomfield says.  

"It's a way of  helping people get control over negative emotions – when people learn to practise self-compassion, it helps activate the brain's soothing system and promotes a sense of calm. It can be used as a complementary therapy along with cognitive behaviour therapy and mindfulness or it can be the core therapy; it depends what the person needs. It gives people an extra skill for dealing with the kind of negative thoughts that go with depression, anxiety and eating problems. It's also helpful for other problems where people are typically hard on themselves like drug and alcohol abuse or compulsive obsessive disorder, says Bloomfield who runs regular workshop on compassion-based therapy in Sydney and Canberra.

"What do you normally do when a good friend is upset? Most us would listen, give support and show that we care because we know it can help them bear whatever it is that's troubling them. But when we're the ones struggling with disappointment or failure we tend to be self-critical and blame ourselves."

Still, many people find self-compassion difficult.   

"Some people feel that they're not 'worthy' enough and are better at being compassionate to others than they are to themselves, " Greenfeld says.

It's also easy to look at this approach and think that it smacks of self-indulgence but   a growing body of research has linked self-compassion to greater resilience, and less anxiety and depression.   

"People with self-compassion are more likely to bounce back; they have the ability to normalise failure and disappointment and be more realistic with own goals," Bloomfield says. "Studies have found that self-compassionate students who fail exams for instance are more likely to try again. It's the difference between treating yourself like the nasty maths teacher at school who said you were hopeless and a good life coach who offers support and encouragement."  



Monday, November 23, 2015

Why Is Happiness So Hard? 10 Reasons, 10 Solutions

Linda Esposito LCSW
From Anxiety to Zen


Most of us get happy all wrong. This is because we were raised to think that life is supposed to make us feel good. We were taught to 
avoid pain like the plague,because negative events cause negative emotions, and negative feelings are not meant to be felt. The result is that we grow up pain-averse and we crumble at the first signs of stress because our emotional training wheels never came off.
While roadblocks to happiness do exist, the good news is they are all within our control. Here is a look at the common thieves of happiness and how to change them in order to feel better.

1. Fear

Fearing change is normal. Staying mired in misery, is not. Common reasons include fear of the unknown, of failure, of what people may say, and of risking our security blanket in the name of safety and predictability.
Fear cripples many a therapy client: Staying in a soul-sucking career because “that’s what my parents did to provide for the family,” or sticking with unhappy relationships because “it’s better than being alone,” and stalling on a creative venture because “what will the naysayers say if l fail?”
It takes courage to step outside of your comfort zone, but your comfort zone is also your danger zone. One of the biggest regrets of the dying is reliving all the what ifs. Topping the list is the fear of being criticized by others. Take a tip from the wife of an ex-president:
“You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

2. Chasing self-esteem

“It has almost become a truism in our culture that we need to have high self-esteem in order to be happy and healthy. But as research is now starting to demonstrate, the need to continually evaluate ourselves positively comes at a high price. The main problem is that having high self-esteem requires feeling special and above average. To be called average is considered an insult in our culture. This need to feel superior results in a process of social comparison in which we continually try to puff ourselves up and put others down.” — Dr. Kristin Neff
The problem is once our self-esteem slips, as it inevitably will, we start to internalize the negative feelings and we are primed to feel anxious, depressed and unworthy.
What’s the antidote?
Develop self-compassion.
Self-compassion means to see ourselves realistically, and just as fallible as the next guy or gal. The feel-good emotions of self-compassion are highly stable because they are based on our intrinsic self-worth.
Research has shown that self-compassion offers the same benefits as high self-esteem, such as reduced anxiety and depression and elevated happiness. However, it is not associated with the negative effects of self-esteem such as social comparison, defensiveness, or narcissism.

3. External rewards

Happiness is an inside job. Sure a shiny new car, sleek digs and a European vacation can make life better, but they are temporary fixes. Sometimes we veer so far outside of our minds in search of happiness that these external pursuits block our path. The best things in life are created and cultivated — good, solid relationships, positive experiences and lovingmemories. Material goods will not shower us with feel-good emotions and meaning.

4.  “When I reach this goal…”

Life doesn’t honor the perfect time. Waiting for the future is to sit with anxiety, while the world passes by. We postpone our happiness until a time in the future when everything is just right. Only that time never comes.
Some believe that happiness must be earned, and suffering now means we can cash in our karmic sunshine tomorrow. The truth is happiness is not mystic or fated. Anxious therapy clients will often self-sabotage when things start to look up because they believe if they take emotional wellness for granted, the Happiness Gods will strike. Preemptive worrying is a waste of time if ever there was one.
When I was a kid I constantly looked forward to milestones: high school graduation, independent living, marriage, travel, parenthood, etc. Then one day in my 20s I woke up and realized I was living “the future.” And despite the milestones, there were always barriers. Once one challenge was overcome, the next was knocking on my front door. And that realization forced me into imperfect reality, otherwise known as the here-and-now. It’s so easy to get caught up in the tomorrow game. And all the while today’s precious moments are passing us by.

5. Negative thoughts

A crucial psychological lesson is learning that our thoughts form our emotions, and not the other way around. It’s common to believe that we can’t help our feelings, but this is simply untrue. Negative thoughts can seem automatic because they’ve become ingrained in our thought process. Complicating matters is that many of our thoughts are unconscious.
One of the best ways to combat chronic negative thinking is to visit a therapist. A skilled therapist will help you uncover your unconscious thought process so that these thoughts are brought into consciousness, examined and dealt with.
For example, you may have experienced multiple thoughts upon reading, ‘visit a therapist.’ Perhaps you had a negative counseling experience in the past, or your immediate thought was, ‘here we go again, someone telling me I’m crazy, and I need to get fixed,’ or other thoughts which triggered a negative association. If you find yourself reacting to the same people and situations over and over again, your unconscious thoughts are likely blocking your way.
The sister to uncovering unconscious thoughts is a therapy technique called cognitive- behavioral therapy (CBT). For an in-depth article explaining how to reframe unhealthy thoughts so you can substitute them with more realistic, healthy thoughts, click here.(link is external)
The quality of our thoughts means everything to happiness.

6. Comparison

Do you ever troll Instagram(link is external) and think, “Wow, if only my life was like so-and-so, then I’d really be happy”?
We are bombarded with reminders that our better self is waiting in the wings. The thing is, we’re viewing edited reality. Case in point: While writing this article I was struggling withmotivation. So I went outside and started taking pictures to post on social media. When I checked my self-awareness I had to admit I was more concerned with reaching the number of followers my peers have, rather than bringing value to my audience. Instead of feeling grateful that I’m able to write for cool sites like the Huffington Post and Psychology Today, I was chasing more readers, more likes, more hearts and more shares. Comparison really is the thief of joy.

7. Living in the past

Few things are sadder than seeing someone stuck in an endless cycle of replaying their glory days. As the saying goes, ‘youth is wasted on the young.’ The thing about the past is we would all go back and change the unsavory parts if we could. Regretting what you did or didn’t do is futile because you were a different person back then. Plus, we are constantly evolving.
Except John from high school who will happily offer you a beer in exchange for listening to that time he made the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds of the fourth quarter. Or how his life is all screwed up on account of that wretched wife who turned his kids against him and took him to the cleaners during the divorce.Don’t be that guy.

8. Loose boundaries

Healthy boundaries are the key to happiness. Without a blueprint for who we are, who we are not, and who and what we want in our life, we simply cannot manage time and emotional energy.
For example, let’s say you and your family traveled across town to visit your folks for Sunday dinner. And after dessert Mom doesn’t want you to leave, even though your kids are cranky. When Mom pushes boundaries that negatively affect your family, remain firm, but loving: "I appreciate the time we had today, but as I mentioned before, bedtime is at 8:00 p.m. and we have to get going."
Mom may see boundaries as a challenge, and an invitation to push your buttons. Hold your ground and impose "second level" boundaries, if necessary. For example, leave without engaging in any further conversation, turn off your mobile phone, and don't allow yourself to be guilted into repeated pleas to make an exception because "it's a special occasion."

9. Neglecting gratitude

There's a whole host of reasons why we should make gratitude a daily practice -- research has shown that being thankful has many positive effects such as improved health, better immune systems, feelings of connection, and higher levels of collaboration.
When we wallow in what we don’t have, we squander our emotional energies. Focusing on our shortcomings, rather than our blessings means losing sight of the fact that most things in our lives are pretty good.Try thinking of three things each day that you’re grateful for or keep a gratitude diary. These small acts of kindness take just minutes, yet the difference in outlook and positive emotions can make a big difference.

10. Forgetting about the process

Sometimes we make life harder than necessary. Happiness is not a means to an end, for there is no Destination Happy. Sure we experience joyful moments and blissful memories, but life is about the journey and enjoying the steps along the way. When we let go of our limited view of happiness, we accept that life is full of ebbs and flows where some days are great, others are good, and some are bad. And that’s okay. Cultivating happiness is as much about handling adversity as it is about embracing the beauty in everyday moments.